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You have to stand with your feet firmly on the ground to live your truth!
As we get to know each other at the beginning of our meetings with my clients and we gradually move into the body psychotherapy process, they often ask me, "What can I do at home on my own to make the therapeutic process as supportive and effective as possible?"
My answer: "Stand with your knees slightly bent, observe the sensations and feelings in your body, and write down your observations at the end."
Today I no longer give answers without at least a little explanation and prior experience. An explanation without experience usually brings nothing, and besides, in the initial phase of the therapeutic process, people expect quick solutions, and the proposed exercise isn't some quick fix.
This is also one of the reasons why I decided to prepare this 9-week Grounding Fundamentals online course. It's a fact that we humans need information and in this course, you will find all information about all aspects of grounding.
The fact is that such questions are asked by highly motivated people, who are then usually very successful with their inner work and solve their problems effectively. For such people, this simple exercise offers the first steps to the physical aspects of grounding and whoever is willing to invest some time in self-observation at the beginning (even if the rational explanation may sound like mambo jumbo to him or her and he or she doesn't have much experience yet) will definitely be rewarded in the end.
Standing with knees slightly bent while simultaneously observing the physical sensations in the body was a daily exercise in my life for a while.
I preferred "standing" in the evening, especially on days when my wife Tina had a lot of work to do in the late afternoon and into the evening. At that time, our two daughters were still small enough that I could get them to sleep around 7 or 8 pm. In this way, I killed "several birds with one stone" The girls gained much needed hours of sleep, and I myself gained some time where I didn't have to stay just for a short time like in my morning meditations but could stand in peace and observe what was going on in my body - even longer if necessary!
I remember that at that time I could hardly wait to go on vacation with the family and go to the sea, where for many years I had my own corner in the bay, where usually there were no people and I could stand for hours under the pines...
There are things we can do alone on our own and there are things we cannot do on our own. Our unconscious is by definition beyond the reach of our consciousness, so we absolutely need an external point to explore it so that we can then get in touch with the unconscious parts and start to become aware of them.
And what we often forget is that this someone outside of us can be Earth! And that's why everyone can practice "standing" at home because each of us can use the Earth and its gravity as a research partner!
When we pause, close our eyes, bend our knees slightly, and take a few deep breaths in and out, several very important things happen:
- Our mental focus shifts from our heads to our feet. We can feel many things - increased tension in our thighs, pain in our calves, increased pressure in the soles of our feet. Whatever is happening, with this shift of focus from the head to the feet, we begin to direct the energy downward in the body. This process is especially important when someone has a problem with their mind, when they're overly mind-oriented, which typically manifests in excessive thinking, increased pessimism, a negative worldview, and excessive worry.
- We quickly come into contact with energy blockages. People are energetically blocked for a reason! As soon as we bend our knees slightly, we open up energetically. We come into contact with feelings. Body sensations can be pleasant or unpleasant. But sooner or later, if we stand long enough, the body sensations become unpleasant. When we are dealing with feelings that we try to avoid (consciously or unconsciously), we quickly encounter resistance to the feeling. Then we get the impulse to stretch out our legs, and the mind intervenes with questions and judgments that this is completely pointless, and who stands like this, and so on.
- Standing with slightly bent knees is a neutral position that doesn't promote or encourage any particular feeling. In this position we're open to both pleasant and unpleasant feelings.
- Sometimes people come into contact quite quickly with their problems with anxiety, panic attacks, increased irritability, outbursts of anger, etc. Therefore, it's essential to pay attention to safety while standing so that we can avoid unpleasant effects.
- The moment we take some time, close our eyes and focus on what is happening in our body, we train our inner observer. This is extremely important for the development and growth of consciousness and awareness, which is crucial in psychotherapy.
- When we stand, we support our adult energy. Standing involves the leg-foot-ground relationship, which is the basis for active human participation in the world. To stand, unlike lying down on the ground, we need a will. How we channel our energy into our will is again a fundamental question and issue...
- We open ourselves to full presence in our body.
In moments of grounding, the body is fluid, we're aware of ourselves and the moment we're in. We realistically perceive the current experience, the environment and the world, as well as ourselves and others, and are in touch with our true feelings.
Being grounded means being fully present in the body
Being grounded is the foundation for all well-being and creativity.
The feeling of well-being in the body is influenced by our posture, the way we carry ourselves, the different distributions of chronic tension in the body, the way we move, and the way we breathe...
We are not grounded when we're distracted and overworked when we think about the past and worry about the future when we're depressed or anxious when we aren't in touch with ourselves and our bodies.
In Core Energetics body psychotherapy we work on different levels of grounding and distinguish two types of grounding, primary and secondary grounding. Seven levels of primary grounding are:
- holding
- supporting
- nourishing
- restraining
- limiting
- preserving
- protecting
Primary grounding is linked to child development, and at that time we usually work lying on our backs. We're more in contact with the young energy, with the inner child of a person, while in secondary grounding we work with the adult energy. Then we work standing up and focusing on the person's:
- inner feelings, thoughts and will
- body
- history and story
- reality
- relationships
- spirituality
This is also one of the main reasons why we start our therapies standing up. Technically, this is what distinguishes us from traditional "talk therapy". So in body psychotherapy, we don't just sit and talk, but we also use various adjustments of posture, movement and breathing, expressive, active and sometimes more subtle energy techniques, all with the goal of helping people:
- to feel the whole body better
- to be better grounded (so we'll focus on "directing" the energy in the body downwards, into the legs) and
- to equip them and their bodies with the tools to stay grounded even in stressful moments and situations.
Standing on our feet is also the first position we encounter when we get up from the couch. People stand in very different ways. Each of us has a lot of psychological history written into in the posture. In my practice, I find out that more than 90 percent of people who seek help aren't standing in a stable posture, and we notice that practically immediately when we stand up.
Grounding has not only physical aspects but also emotional, mental and spiritual aspects. It is the creative mobilization and expression of all aspects of the human being.
Bodily maps of emotions
In early 2014, they published the results of a study in which researchers told participants different stories and showed them different videos and images to elicit different emotional responses from them.
They were interested in where in the body and how participants would perceive different body sensations in response to six "basic" emotions (anger, fear, disgust, happiness, sadness and surprise) and seven "complex" emotions (anxiety, love, depression, contempt, pride, shame and envy).
The image below shows the results, with the increased body response represented more with red hues and the decreased body response represented with blue hues.
The picture is taken from the article Bodily maps of emotions, PNAS, January 2014
As for bodily sensations, we notice increased activity in the legs only during feelings of happiness. In the vast majority of other states, however, it seems as if the lower half of the body is simply absent, or in some cases the responsiveness of the lower half of the body is even significantly reduced.
Have you ever wondered what we feel when we "mix" happiness and love? You will probably agree that these two states on this list are something worth striving for. What do we feel when we add the intensity of sensations in the parts of the body that are colored yellow in love (chest and pelvis) to the fullness of the experience of the whole body in happiness?
We feel pleasure, which is our drive and direction, which allows our spontaneity and propels us forward, which gives us feelings of satisfaction, happiness and contentment. Having enough pleasure keeps us physically and mentally flexible and helps us cope with the inevitable changes in life. Pleasure strengthens our immune system and health and helps in the recovery from various diseases.
Energetic work with the legs can also help us to change our feelings. However, activating the legs usually doesn't happen without struggle and without unpleasant sensations. The feet are important for grounding and contact with the earth. They are also crucial for how we carry ourselves, our truth and our emotional reality.
Being grounded, in other words, means having our feet firmly on the ground. We can extend that even further, because someone who is grounded knows who he or she is and where he or she stands in life, accepts the body as it is, is aware of his or her feelings and sexuality, and is pleasure-oriented. And that doesn't mean that he or she's focused on the pleasure that most people seek on the outside, but on the pleasure that we have inside of us, which is the essence of our life.
A grounded person embodies faith and trust in life and is in touch with his and objective reality, while an ungrounded person has no faith in life and pursues unrealistic life goals.
Are you ready to ground yourself and strive to feel, perceive and sense the fullness in your body?
Useful
To be grounded means to have one's feet firmly on the ground. In these moments the body is in flow, we are aware of ourselves and the moment we're in. We're realistically aware of the current experience, the environment and the world, as well as ourselves and others, and are in touch with our true feelings.
In body psychotherapy, we work on different levels of grounding and distinguish between two types of grounding. In primary grounding, we usually work lying on our backs. We're more in contact with the youthful energy, with the inner child of a person, while in secondary grounding we work with the adult energy. At this point, we work standing up, which is the basis for a person's active participation in the world and also one of the main reasons why we begin our therapy standing up.
Samo Božič
Samo Božič is a certified body psychotherapist in private practice in Slovenia. He graduated on the Netherlands institute for Core Energetics (NICE) and he is a full member of the European Association for Body Psychotherapy (EABP).
He is deeply invested in developing therapy work in individual and group settings, connecting issues of manhood, fatherhood, sports, nature, grounding and grounded spirituality. He is married to Tina, who is also a psychotherapist, and he is a proud father of two inspired teenage girls who enrich his life and fill his heart.
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